Why Some People Engage In More Eye Contact Than Others
Eye contact is one of the primal ways of communicating. It serves a crucial role in mother-child bonding. In fact, research conducted in the 1940s showed that the image of two eyes is the minimal visual stimulus infants need to elicit a smile.
We also know that eye contact increases adults' brain activity and heart rates.
However, before we go any further, let's distinguish between gazing and making eye contact. Gazing refers to looking at different points on the person's face besides the eyes; we might be distracted by a mole on the right cheek or caught by the peculiar way he/she turns up their mouth. Eye contact denotes looking into the other person's eyes.
Patricia Webbink, a psychologist who has studied the eyes and their place in human communication for more than two decades, defines eye contact as, "The mutual interaction that occurs when two pairs of eyes meet." It plays a powerful role in interpersonal bonding, she explains. "In a world characterized by mechanization, threats of violence, and social alienation, the need for increased interaction between people is apparent.
The power of eye contact is very real: the mutual gaze is a major form of communication that promotes intimacy." In fact, many people who are deaf insist on eye contact in interactions; they depend heavily on the emotions expressed in the eyes to supplement the vocal intonations they miss in the conversation.
Although we may crave eye contact with others, it is a rule of nonverbal communication that no one maintains it exclusively or continuously. We sustain eye contact approximately 60 percent of the time during interactions. That means most normal everyday interactions are a combination of gazing and eye contact.
In the course of a thirty-second interaction, research tracking the eyes has shown that people will gaze at fifteen different spots on or near the face, including the unusual design on the frame of a friend's glasses, tan ear popping out of her hair, her nonverbal affect, the peculiar way she moves her lips along with her eyes. We can predict you will engage in more eye contact if:
1. You are discussing easy, impersonal topics.
2. There is nothing else to look at.
3. You like or love your partner.
4. You are interested in your partner's reactions; you're interpersonally involved.
5. You are trying to dominate or influence your partner.
6. You are from a culture that emphasizes visual contact in interaction.
7. You are an extrovert.
8. You have high affiliation needs or inclusion needs.
9. You are listening rather than talking.
10. You are a male and are more physically distant from your partner.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Teaching Men On How To Communicate With Women
Teaching Men On How To Communicate With Women
The most effective way a man can improve his communication skills with a woman is by listening to her feelings. This may not be easy since he is coming from a different perspective.
The first thing a man should do is to keep in mind how quickly unpleasant feelings can arise in a conversation that he feels is going well.
These feelings come from not listening with an understanding of the woman's point of view. In order to have a good gender communication take place, a man must start taking the responsibility for understanding the way women talk.
Don't blame her when you start to become upset. Her feelings are valid even if they don't make sense to you right away. Before coming to any conclusion, try to see the situation through her eyes.
Keep in mind a woman's primary communication needs and use your conversation to make her feel validated, respected and understood.
Take the time to reassure her and let her know that you care about what she is saying and feeling. Make her feel that you are listening to her and your communication will improve.
Sometimes males experience uncomfortable emotions because they do not know what to do to solve things. To improve on communication, men must learn to resist the urge to take the problem completely off a female counterpart's shoulders.
Don't offer more solutions. Because women talk about problems does not mean they don't know how to solve them. Women want men to listen to them.
To have good communication with women, you don't have to always agree with them. If you disagree, however, you'll be better able to get your point across if you wait until they are finished talking.
Men often try to talk over each other when they disagree. They raise their voices and interrupt each other. Women interpret these actions as power plays, and communication suffers.
In addition, do not pretend to understand when you don't, and do not automatically start defending yourself. You communicate better with women if you admit when you don't understand.
If you disagree and feel strongly about the issue, let her know that what she said is important to you. Then gently explain your point of view. If you make a mistake, especially when you have slighted her feelings, apologize.
If you listen and acknowledge her feelings, you'll close the gender gap and open the door to effective communications.
The most effective way a man can improve his communication skills with a woman is by listening to her feelings. This may not be easy since he is coming from a different perspective.
The first thing a man should do is to keep in mind how quickly unpleasant feelings can arise in a conversation that he feels is going well.
These feelings come from not listening with an understanding of the woman's point of view. In order to have a good gender communication take place, a man must start taking the responsibility for understanding the way women talk.
Don't blame her when you start to become upset. Her feelings are valid even if they don't make sense to you right away. Before coming to any conclusion, try to see the situation through her eyes.
Keep in mind a woman's primary communication needs and use your conversation to make her feel validated, respected and understood.
Take the time to reassure her and let her know that you care about what she is saying and feeling. Make her feel that you are listening to her and your communication will improve.
Sometimes males experience uncomfortable emotions because they do not know what to do to solve things. To improve on communication, men must learn to resist the urge to take the problem completely off a female counterpart's shoulders.
Don't offer more solutions. Because women talk about problems does not mean they don't know how to solve them. Women want men to listen to them.
To have good communication with women, you don't have to always agree with them. If you disagree, however, you'll be better able to get your point across if you wait until they are finished talking.
Men often try to talk over each other when they disagree. They raise their voices and interrupt each other. Women interpret these actions as power plays, and communication suffers.
In addition, do not pretend to understand when you don't, and do not automatically start defending yourself. You communicate better with women if you admit when you don't understand.
If you disagree and feel strongly about the issue, let her know that what she said is important to you. Then gently explain your point of view. If you make a mistake, especially when you have slighted her feelings, apologize.
If you listen and acknowledge her feelings, you'll close the gender gap and open the door to effective communications.
Women In The Workplace: Is Your Attire Communicating The Right Impression?
Women In The Workplace: Is Your Attire Communicating The Right Impression?
What you wear at work makes an individual statement about you that communicates to others. It could be a way of saying to your boss that you're ready for promotion or, to your colleagues, that you're a friendly person; it could be an assertion to a client that you know what you're talking about.
So it's wise to think about your agenda and choose your clothes accordingly - and, for a woman, that includes your accessories, makeup and hairstyle as well.
Is it important, for example, for you to be seen to have power and authority, perhaps because you want to influence a client or be taken seriously as a freelancer?
The days of power shoulders are over, but the fact still remains that if they want to appear powerful, both genders have to adopt some of the non-verbal icons of masculinity. For women, the key lies in shape and color, picking up on the slightly tailored look that is reminiscent of a man's suit, in coordinated outfits, using dark or toned-down shades, with light makeup and a simple hairstyle without too many feminine curls.
Say, on the other hand, that you want to create a cooperative, rapport-filled relationship at work - perhaps because your job involves a good deal of one-to-one interaction or support.
Then you need to choose clothes that reflect more feminine emblems - such as lighter, brighter colors, patterned rather than plain materials, and unstructured shapes that signal relaxation and an accepting nature.
Women can also use makeup to accentuate those parts of the face that are most expressive - eyes and lips; but keep the colors toned down so as not to slide over the boundary between femininity and sexuality.
You may need to look knowledgeable in your job because the product or service you're dealing with has an 'expert' or scientific image. Pick up here on the icons of the professions who dress entirely in black or white.
Black says 'expertise and intellectualism' because it's associated with the church and the law, while white says 'wisdom and compassion' because it's associated with medicine - which is why some cosmetics counters dress their assistants in white uniforms.
To support the nonverbal message being given out, women might need to play down their gender signs so as to appear professionally asexual. Tie hair back off the face and choose small, simple accessories and a natural or unnoticeable makeup.
All these agendas - power, rapport, sexuality and expertise - will almost certainly mix and match in whatever work you do. You will want to appear powerful but approachable, knowledgeable yet friendly. Hence, you'll blend styles in order to create the very best effect possible to fit your agenda.
What you wear at work makes an individual statement about you that communicates to others. It could be a way of saying to your boss that you're ready for promotion or, to your colleagues, that you're a friendly person; it could be an assertion to a client that you know what you're talking about.
So it's wise to think about your agenda and choose your clothes accordingly - and, for a woman, that includes your accessories, makeup and hairstyle as well.
Is it important, for example, for you to be seen to have power and authority, perhaps because you want to influence a client or be taken seriously as a freelancer?
The days of power shoulders are over, but the fact still remains that if they want to appear powerful, both genders have to adopt some of the non-verbal icons of masculinity. For women, the key lies in shape and color, picking up on the slightly tailored look that is reminiscent of a man's suit, in coordinated outfits, using dark or toned-down shades, with light makeup and a simple hairstyle without too many feminine curls.
Say, on the other hand, that you want to create a cooperative, rapport-filled relationship at work - perhaps because your job involves a good deal of one-to-one interaction or support.
Then you need to choose clothes that reflect more feminine emblems - such as lighter, brighter colors, patterned rather than plain materials, and unstructured shapes that signal relaxation and an accepting nature.
Women can also use makeup to accentuate those parts of the face that are most expressive - eyes and lips; but keep the colors toned down so as not to slide over the boundary between femininity and sexuality.
You may need to look knowledgeable in your job because the product or service you're dealing with has an 'expert' or scientific image. Pick up here on the icons of the professions who dress entirely in black or white.
Black says 'expertise and intellectualism' because it's associated with the church and the law, while white says 'wisdom and compassion' because it's associated with medicine - which is why some cosmetics counters dress their assistants in white uniforms.
To support the nonverbal message being given out, women might need to play down their gender signs so as to appear professionally asexual. Tie hair back off the face and choose small, simple accessories and a natural or unnoticeable makeup.
All these agendas - power, rapport, sexuality and expertise - will almost certainly mix and match in whatever work you do. You will want to appear powerful but approachable, knowledgeable yet friendly. Hence, you'll blend styles in order to create the very best effect possible to fit your agenda.
Communication Styles: Which One Are You?
Communication Styles: Which One Are You?
One element underlying everyone's personality is which of the senses they favor. Does someone revel most in what they see, hear or touch? (The senses of smell and taste are usually peripheral, important only in situations such as eating or love-making.)
Most humans do have a slight preference for one of these, but some people have an extremely distinct liking for one sense or the other, which informs their personality and can frequently show through visibly in their body language.
1. Lookers: Lookers tend to have good posture but tense shoulders. They're often thin, with tight lips. Obviously they'll choose clothes and furniture for visual impact - they feel good inside when they see attractive things. Not only this, but they also think mainly in pictures, which causes horizontal brow-furrowing, so they may have forehead wrinkles on an otherwise unlined face.
2. Listeners: Listeners think sound is important - words as well as noises. Their usual posture is with head slightly down and to one side, as if listening, or with one hand up to their face or ear - the 'telephone posture.' When thinking something through, you'll often see their lips move, as if talking to themselves.
They love rhythm, and may beat out mental riffs on tables, on chair arms or in the air. They'll have the car stereo set to turn on when they start the ignition.
3. Touchers: Touchers - who are typically very emotional people - are often rounded in shape. They may not actually be plump, but they tend to lean in, and have slightly rounded shoulders and full lips. They breathe deeply, move in a rather loose, relaxed manner and often have deep voices. Their style is based on how things feel rather than look, so they will choose for comfort and softness rather than fashion.
There are pros and cons to each sensory preference. Having a tendency toward one rather than another does not put a person at a disadvantage in life, though it may mean that they are more suited to some tasks than others.
Never, for example, ask a listener to tell you what to wear to a party, while fashion advice from a looker will ensure that you look superb - but won't guarantee that you will feel comfortable. Equally, if you spot that your interior decorator is a toucher, you may want to hire someone else!
Check to see if you yourself have a strong preference for one sense. If you have, prepare for potential problems when you meet someone with a strong preference for another.
If you're a looker and a friend is a listener, drawing him a picture of your new apartment will be useless; tell him about it instead. If he, in return, tries to describe his new girlfriend, you may need him to show you a picture before you can really be enthusiastic about the relationship.
Even more subtly, lookers, listeners and touchers differ in their basic communication styles. A looker will, literally, need to look a lot while talking - which may make a listener feel invaded; meanwhile, a listener, who tends to look away while speaking, may make a looker feel unappreciated.
And if, during a squabble, your toucher friend moves closer to get reassurance, he isn't invading your space, just following his sensory preference; if you hug him, he'll find it easier to feel good again.
One element underlying everyone's personality is which of the senses they favor. Does someone revel most in what they see, hear or touch? (The senses of smell and taste are usually peripheral, important only in situations such as eating or love-making.)
Most humans do have a slight preference for one of these, but some people have an extremely distinct liking for one sense or the other, which informs their personality and can frequently show through visibly in their body language.
1. Lookers: Lookers tend to have good posture but tense shoulders. They're often thin, with tight lips. Obviously they'll choose clothes and furniture for visual impact - they feel good inside when they see attractive things. Not only this, but they also think mainly in pictures, which causes horizontal brow-furrowing, so they may have forehead wrinkles on an otherwise unlined face.
2. Listeners: Listeners think sound is important - words as well as noises. Their usual posture is with head slightly down and to one side, as if listening, or with one hand up to their face or ear - the 'telephone posture.' When thinking something through, you'll often see their lips move, as if talking to themselves.
They love rhythm, and may beat out mental riffs on tables, on chair arms or in the air. They'll have the car stereo set to turn on when they start the ignition.
3. Touchers: Touchers - who are typically very emotional people - are often rounded in shape. They may not actually be plump, but they tend to lean in, and have slightly rounded shoulders and full lips. They breathe deeply, move in a rather loose, relaxed manner and often have deep voices. Their style is based on how things feel rather than look, so they will choose for comfort and softness rather than fashion.
There are pros and cons to each sensory preference. Having a tendency toward one rather than another does not put a person at a disadvantage in life, though it may mean that they are more suited to some tasks than others.
Never, for example, ask a listener to tell you what to wear to a party, while fashion advice from a looker will ensure that you look superb - but won't guarantee that you will feel comfortable. Equally, if you spot that your interior decorator is a toucher, you may want to hire someone else!
Check to see if you yourself have a strong preference for one sense. If you have, prepare for potential problems when you meet someone with a strong preference for another.
If you're a looker and a friend is a listener, drawing him a picture of your new apartment will be useless; tell him about it instead. If he, in return, tries to describe his new girlfriend, you may need him to show you a picture before you can really be enthusiastic about the relationship.
Even more subtly, lookers, listeners and touchers differ in their basic communication styles. A looker will, literally, need to look a lot while talking - which may make a listener feel invaded; meanwhile, a listener, who tends to look away while speaking, may make a looker feel unappreciated.
And if, during a squabble, your toucher friend moves closer to get reassurance, he isn't invading your space, just following his sensory preference; if you hug him, he'll find it easier to feel good again.
2 Steps To Becoming A Better Listener
2 Steps To Becoming A Better Listener
Step 1: You can become a better listener by first deciding to take listening seriously! The first step to improvement is always self-awareness. Analyze your shortcomings as a listener and commit yourself to overcoming them.
Good listeners are not born that way. They have worked at learning how to listen effectively.
Good listening does not go hand in hand with intelligence, education, or social standing. Like any other skill, it comes from practice and self-discipline.
You should begin to think of listening as an active process. So many aspects of modern life encourage us to listen passively. We "listen" to the radio while studying or "listen" to the television while moving about from room to room.
This type of passive listening is a habit - but so is active listening. We can learn to identify those situations in which active listening is important. If you work seriously at becoming a more efficient listener, you will reap the rewards in your schoolwork, in your personal and family relations, and in your career.
Step 2: Learn to resist distractions. In an ideal world, we could eliminate all physical and mental distractions. In the real world, however, this is not possible. Because we think so much faster than a speaker can talk, it's easy to let our attention wander while we listen.
Sometimes it's very easy - when the room is too hot, when construction machinery is operating right outside the window, when the speaker is tedious. But our attention can stray even in the best of circumstances - if for no other reason than a failure to stay alert and make ourselves concentrate.
Whenever you find this happening, make a conscious effort to pull your mind back to what the speaker is saying. Then force it to stay there. One way to do this is to think a little ahead of the speaker - try to anticipate what will come next. This is not the same as jumping to conclusions.
When you jump to conclusions, you put words into the speaker's mouth and don't actually listen to what is said. In this case you will listen - and measure what the speaker says against what you had anticipated.
Another way to keep your mind on a speech is to review mentally what the speaker has already said and make sure you understand it. Yet another is to listen between the lines and assess what a speaker implies verbally or says nonverbally with body language.
Step 1: You can become a better listener by first deciding to take listening seriously! The first step to improvement is always self-awareness. Analyze your shortcomings as a listener and commit yourself to overcoming them.
Good listeners are not born that way. They have worked at learning how to listen effectively.
Good listening does not go hand in hand with intelligence, education, or social standing. Like any other skill, it comes from practice and self-discipline.
You should begin to think of listening as an active process. So many aspects of modern life encourage us to listen passively. We "listen" to the radio while studying or "listen" to the television while moving about from room to room.
This type of passive listening is a habit - but so is active listening. We can learn to identify those situations in which active listening is important. If you work seriously at becoming a more efficient listener, you will reap the rewards in your schoolwork, in your personal and family relations, and in your career.
Step 2: Learn to resist distractions. In an ideal world, we could eliminate all physical and mental distractions. In the real world, however, this is not possible. Because we think so much faster than a speaker can talk, it's easy to let our attention wander while we listen.
Sometimes it's very easy - when the room is too hot, when construction machinery is operating right outside the window, when the speaker is tedious. But our attention can stray even in the best of circumstances - if for no other reason than a failure to stay alert and make ourselves concentrate.
Whenever you find this happening, make a conscious effort to pull your mind back to what the speaker is saying. Then force it to stay there. One way to do this is to think a little ahead of the speaker - try to anticipate what will come next. This is not the same as jumping to conclusions.
When you jump to conclusions, you put words into the speaker's mouth and don't actually listen to what is said. In this case you will listen - and measure what the speaker says against what you had anticipated.
Another way to keep your mind on a speech is to review mentally what the speaker has already said and make sure you understand it. Yet another is to listen between the lines and assess what a speaker implies verbally or says nonverbally with body language.
Learn How To Talk To Your Kids About Failure
Learn How To Talk To Your Kids About Failure
When your teens talk about their failures and mistakes in everyday activities, listen for a tendency to blame others or to give up too quickly. If your children aren't doing well in school, do they blame the teacher or say, "What's the use"? If their school project turns out awful, do they blame the materials or give up in anger?
If they lose the game, do they blame their teammates or decide they're just no good? If your kids are reacting like this, they may believe that failing at one or two things makes them a total failure.
Perfectionists, especially, feel that their self-worth depends on external factors, such as being successful at everything do. These teens need to learn about the positive side of failure.
Find Opportunities To Talk
Mistakes are a positive part of everyone's daily life, so it's not difficult to find opportunities to talk about this subject with your child. When your teen brings home a school paper with a mistake, for example, don't focus on the grade alone; talk about the error. "Making mistakes is one of the ways we learn things.
So let's see what you can learn from this mistake." Then help your child find me correct answer. If your child tries to put together a project and it falls apart it's finished, encourage him or her to use this event constructively. Ask, "Why do you think it fell apart?" "What can you do differently the next time?" "Let's see you give it another try."
Talk About Your Own Failures
You can encourage your kids to risk failure by talking about your own experience with risk taking and by admitting your mistakes and failures. You might talk to kids about the time you ran for class president and lost, or tried out for a team and didn't make it, or tried to build a model airplane by yourself but found that you needed help. These admissions give teen permission to fail also.
Help Your Children Practice Failure
Everyone needs accept that no one can be the best at everything, that no one can win all the time, and that it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. In short, it's human to fail and make mistakes, this imperfection does not diminish our self-worth or reduce our chances of succeeding in the future.
One way to teach this lesson is to arrange situations in which you occasionally let your teens fail. If you play card or board games, for example, don't always let your kids win. If you play tennis or basketball, don't consistently give them the advantage. Let them experience the disappointment of losing in a protected environment.
Then encourage them to try again. It's these little lessons that give our children the confidence and perseverance they'll need to master difficult tasks and pursue challenging goals in their lives.
When your teens talk about their failures and mistakes in everyday activities, listen for a tendency to blame others or to give up too quickly. If your children aren't doing well in school, do they blame the teacher or say, "What's the use"? If their school project turns out awful, do they blame the materials or give up in anger?
If they lose the game, do they blame their teammates or decide they're just no good? If your kids are reacting like this, they may believe that failing at one or two things makes them a total failure.
Perfectionists, especially, feel that their self-worth depends on external factors, such as being successful at everything do. These teens need to learn about the positive side of failure.
Find Opportunities To Talk
Mistakes are a positive part of everyone's daily life, so it's not difficult to find opportunities to talk about this subject with your child. When your teen brings home a school paper with a mistake, for example, don't focus on the grade alone; talk about the error. "Making mistakes is one of the ways we learn things.
So let's see what you can learn from this mistake." Then help your child find me correct answer. If your child tries to put together a project and it falls apart it's finished, encourage him or her to use this event constructively. Ask, "Why do you think it fell apart?" "What can you do differently the next time?" "Let's see you give it another try."
Talk About Your Own Failures
You can encourage your kids to risk failure by talking about your own experience with risk taking and by admitting your mistakes and failures. You might talk to kids about the time you ran for class president and lost, or tried out for a team and didn't make it, or tried to build a model airplane by yourself but found that you needed help. These admissions give teen permission to fail also.
Help Your Children Practice Failure
Everyone needs accept that no one can be the best at everything, that no one can win all the time, and that it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. In short, it's human to fail and make mistakes, this imperfection does not diminish our self-worth or reduce our chances of succeeding in the future.
One way to teach this lesson is to arrange situations in which you occasionally let your teens fail. If you play card or board games, for example, don't always let your kids win. If you play tennis or basketball, don't consistently give them the advantage. Let them experience the disappointment of losing in a protected environment.
Then encourage them to try again. It's these little lessons that give our children the confidence and perseverance they'll need to master difficult tasks and pursue challenging goals in their lives.
How Do You Deal With Conflict?
How Do You Deal With Conflict?
A good communicator knows how to deal with conflict. His goal is not to do away with conflict but to handle it in such a way that it brings about growth and constructive solutions. We all have our own ways of dealing with conflict, our own styles of handling difficult situations. How do you manage conflict to minimize risks and maximize benefits? How can you handle conflict in a way that increases your growth potential? The following lists are different ways we deal with conflict in a small group:
The Avoider: Some people strive for neutrality because they are uncomfortable with anger in any form. Sometimes their avoidance creates conflict or makes a heated situation worse. Avoidance can be of benefit to you if you are not part of the problem or part of the solution. It is not always your responsibility to "fix" every conflict that arises in your home or workplace.
The Accommodator: The Accommodator tries to make everyone happy. This person's objective is superficial harmony, not necessarily an equitable resolution of the conflict. Accommodation is preferred when the issues are minor or when the relationship would be irreparably damaged because tempers are too hot. Here the solution is only temporary.
The Compromiser: The Compromiser offers a solution which, at first glance, appears to resolve conflict. However, both sides are left unsatisfied because both give up something they
wanted. Compromise works best when time is short and both parties benefit. But it's a less than perfect situation because everyone loses something.
The Competitor: For the Competitor, conflict is a game. Power gets this person's attention. The competitive approach is best when all parties recognize the power relationship between themselves and know that action is imperative. Like the others, this is merely a temporary answer. This conflict returns, perhaps in a more powerful form.
The Negotiator: This person seeks consensus and works tirelessly to get it. Negotiation works best when all parties have problem-solving skills. Negotiators work to find methods satisfactory to both parties while keeping goals and values intact. This is the best remedy for communication breakdown.
The first goal in resolving conflict is to deal constructively with the emotions involved. Keep in mind that you should treat the other person with respect, listen until you "experience the other side," and to state your views, needs and feelings. Though talking may trigger conflict, it is also the only means of resolving it.
Talking must focus on defining the problem by saying, "I hear..." looking for agreement by saying, "I agree ..."; understanding feelings "I understand ..."; and stating views calmly. "I think..." Some people plunge head first into conflict without determining if their timing is right to resolve the situation. Some forget to set the terms for the confrontations. Others jump into a conflict without knowing if the other person consents to the terms.
Using the method described above encourages the genuine and direct expression of feelings by one person at a time. When feelings are expressed, heard and acknowledged, they are transient. When they are not expressed, heard or acknowledged, they fester. This approach can rapidly defuse emotions so differences can be discussed more productively.
A good communicator knows how to deal with conflict. His goal is not to do away with conflict but to handle it in such a way that it brings about growth and constructive solutions. We all have our own ways of dealing with conflict, our own styles of handling difficult situations. How do you manage conflict to minimize risks and maximize benefits? How can you handle conflict in a way that increases your growth potential? The following lists are different ways we deal with conflict in a small group:
The Avoider: Some people strive for neutrality because they are uncomfortable with anger in any form. Sometimes their avoidance creates conflict or makes a heated situation worse. Avoidance can be of benefit to you if you are not part of the problem or part of the solution. It is not always your responsibility to "fix" every conflict that arises in your home or workplace.
The Accommodator: The Accommodator tries to make everyone happy. This person's objective is superficial harmony, not necessarily an equitable resolution of the conflict. Accommodation is preferred when the issues are minor or when the relationship would be irreparably damaged because tempers are too hot. Here the solution is only temporary.
The Compromiser: The Compromiser offers a solution which, at first glance, appears to resolve conflict. However, both sides are left unsatisfied because both give up something they
wanted. Compromise works best when time is short and both parties benefit. But it's a less than perfect situation because everyone loses something.
The Competitor: For the Competitor, conflict is a game. Power gets this person's attention. The competitive approach is best when all parties recognize the power relationship between themselves and know that action is imperative. Like the others, this is merely a temporary answer. This conflict returns, perhaps in a more powerful form.
The Negotiator: This person seeks consensus and works tirelessly to get it. Negotiation works best when all parties have problem-solving skills. Negotiators work to find methods satisfactory to both parties while keeping goals and values intact. This is the best remedy for communication breakdown.
The first goal in resolving conflict is to deal constructively with the emotions involved. Keep in mind that you should treat the other person with respect, listen until you "experience the other side," and to state your views, needs and feelings. Though talking may trigger conflict, it is also the only means of resolving it.
Talking must focus on defining the problem by saying, "I hear..." looking for agreement by saying, "I agree ..."; understanding feelings "I understand ..."; and stating views calmly. "I think..." Some people plunge head first into conflict without determining if their timing is right to resolve the situation. Some forget to set the terms for the confrontations. Others jump into a conflict without knowing if the other person consents to the terms.
Using the method described above encourages the genuine and direct expression of feelings by one person at a time. When feelings are expressed, heard and acknowledged, they are transient. When they are not expressed, heard or acknowledged, they fester. This approach can rapidly defuse emotions so differences can be discussed more productively.
Expectations That Affect Good Communications
Expectations That Affect Good Communications
When you communicate with another person, your interaction is governed by your particular mindset at the time. Your mindset filters the information you receive and often can prevent you from communicating and listening actively and objectively.
Your immediate mindset filters everything through your current concerns, including your expectations, present personal relationships or something as simple as what has happened right before the conversation.
Your long-term mindset filters everything through your personal background, your values, your past experiences and even your earliest childhood memories. Your immediate filters are those that change depending on current situations. They may be influenced by your long-term filters, but for the most part these are factors that immediately concern you.
Have you ever left a meeting upset because it failed to live up to your expectations? Or have you ever gone into a meeting fully expecting to hear your boss say one thing but told you something that is totally different? The expectations that you carry into a communication situation can impede your ability to actively listen to what a speaker is saying.
These expectations may be about the topic. For example, you expect the presenter at a meeting to take a particular stand on a topic or reach a certain conclusion. When he starts to talk, you assume you know what is going to be said and listen selectively to support your expectations. You do not listen objectively to what he is saying.
Your expectations also may be about the speaker. Part of these expectations may be based on your previous experience with the speaker. "Oh, he's always boring," is an example of expectations you may have. But you also have roles that you expect people to fall into because of their status. These expectations can stifle communication. When someone doesn't act the way you expect him to, your expectations will filter what you hear him saying.
Your expectations also may relate to a particular situation. You may have caught yourself saying, "I wish I didn't have to go to that boring meeting." When you catch yourself saying something like this, you are expressing your negative expectations for the situation. If you go into the situation, expectations in full swing, they will create a self-fulfilling prophesy. Regardless of the reality of the situation, the meeting will be boring, and you will only "hear" the meaningless small talk.
There is a way for you to control your expectations. Before your next meeting or conversation, make a list of what you expect out of the topic, the situation or the speaker. This list represents the barriers that prevent you from actively listening and being able to communicate effectively.
Test your reactions prior to the meeting or conversation and anticipate your reactions to particular ideas or situations. Try to predict a full range of responses. Ask yourself, "If he says this, how will I respond?" This is useful in situations when you have had some difficulty in communicating or when you anticipate hearing information that will make you uncomfortable.
When you communicate with another person, your interaction is governed by your particular mindset at the time. Your mindset filters the information you receive and often can prevent you from communicating and listening actively and objectively.
Your immediate mindset filters everything through your current concerns, including your expectations, present personal relationships or something as simple as what has happened right before the conversation.
Your long-term mindset filters everything through your personal background, your values, your past experiences and even your earliest childhood memories. Your immediate filters are those that change depending on current situations. They may be influenced by your long-term filters, but for the most part these are factors that immediately concern you.
Have you ever left a meeting upset because it failed to live up to your expectations? Or have you ever gone into a meeting fully expecting to hear your boss say one thing but told you something that is totally different? The expectations that you carry into a communication situation can impede your ability to actively listen to what a speaker is saying.
These expectations may be about the topic. For example, you expect the presenter at a meeting to take a particular stand on a topic or reach a certain conclusion. When he starts to talk, you assume you know what is going to be said and listen selectively to support your expectations. You do not listen objectively to what he is saying.
Your expectations also may be about the speaker. Part of these expectations may be based on your previous experience with the speaker. "Oh, he's always boring," is an example of expectations you may have. But you also have roles that you expect people to fall into because of their status. These expectations can stifle communication. When someone doesn't act the way you expect him to, your expectations will filter what you hear him saying.
Your expectations also may relate to a particular situation. You may have caught yourself saying, "I wish I didn't have to go to that boring meeting." When you catch yourself saying something like this, you are expressing your negative expectations for the situation. If you go into the situation, expectations in full swing, they will create a self-fulfilling prophesy. Regardless of the reality of the situation, the meeting will be boring, and you will only "hear" the meaningless small talk.
There is a way for you to control your expectations. Before your next meeting or conversation, make a list of what you expect out of the topic, the situation or the speaker. This list represents the barriers that prevent you from actively listening and being able to communicate effectively.
Test your reactions prior to the meeting or conversation and anticipate your reactions to particular ideas or situations. Try to predict a full range of responses. Ask yourself, "If he says this, how will I respond?" This is useful in situations when you have had some difficulty in communicating or when you anticipate hearing information that will make you uncomfortable.
How To Say "I'm Sorry"
How To Say "I'm Sorry"
The proper way to apologize is to state that you regret a specific offense. Offer to make amends or, if amends seem definitely called for, announce your intention of making amends as well as indicate how you will do this. If you're not sure how best to deal with the situation, describe several possible solutions and ask which the person prefers.
Assure the person that this will not happen again. In a business context, if it concerns a problem you were unaware of, thank the writer or caller for bringing it to your attention and finish the letter by asking for continued patronage. Do not be overly dramatic by using phrases such as ("You will probably never want to see me again after what I did," "I wish I were dead after the way I behaved last week," or "I am so, so, so sorry.").
When apologizing through writing, keep your letter free of guilt-inspired soul searchings and agonizing; it is uncomfortable and unappealing for the reader. State your apology clearly and briefly. Reread your apology to make sure you are not inadvertently implying that the other person is at fault; some people's "apology" sounds more like an accusation.
Especially in a business context, it is better not to write at all than to imply the customer is at fault. With a little ingenuity, it is possible to express regret about a situation without accepting responsibility for it if it's not your fault.
Don't blame clerical errors on computers ("A computer error/mishap was responsible for the delay in payments."). Most people are irritated by this excuse. In the same way, avoid saying that these things are bound to happen from time to time. Although this may be true, saying so indicates that the company policy may be more inclined to shrugs than vigorous action.
Avoid a grudging attitude; if you are going to apologize, do so cheerfully and wholeheartedly. Do not acknowledge that the company was negligent. If negligence is a factor, consult with your attorney, who will suggest the best approach to take in your letter.
4 Tips on writing a letter of apology:
1. Write as soon as possible after the incident. Be brief, straightforward, and sincere. Admit the fault straight away, apologize, and sign off. Remember to apologize only for the specific issue.
2. Avoid trying to justify or defend the error or behavior, although in some cases, an explanation could accompany your apology. At other times, however, an explanation may weaken or invalidate your apology. This is especially true when you try to explain why you were rude. In certain cases, a brief and sincere apology (maybe with flowers) is better than any explanation.
3. When apologizing for a business problem, the goal is to right the wrong (or the perceived wrong) while turning a dissatisfied customer into one who will continue to deal happily with you. Most customers will respect an honest, generous, and tactful response.
4.Mentally put yourself in the other person's place to determine the type of apology or other actions that would be appropriate if your positions were reversed.
The proper way to apologize is to state that you regret a specific offense. Offer to make amends or, if amends seem definitely called for, announce your intention of making amends as well as indicate how you will do this. If you're not sure how best to deal with the situation, describe several possible solutions and ask which the person prefers.
Assure the person that this will not happen again. In a business context, if it concerns a problem you were unaware of, thank the writer or caller for bringing it to your attention and finish the letter by asking for continued patronage. Do not be overly dramatic by using phrases such as ("You will probably never want to see me again after what I did," "I wish I were dead after the way I behaved last week," or "I am so, so, so sorry.").
When apologizing through writing, keep your letter free of guilt-inspired soul searchings and agonizing; it is uncomfortable and unappealing for the reader. State your apology clearly and briefly. Reread your apology to make sure you are not inadvertently implying that the other person is at fault; some people's "apology" sounds more like an accusation.
Especially in a business context, it is better not to write at all than to imply the customer is at fault. With a little ingenuity, it is possible to express regret about a situation without accepting responsibility for it if it's not your fault.
Don't blame clerical errors on computers ("A computer error/mishap was responsible for the delay in payments."). Most people are irritated by this excuse. In the same way, avoid saying that these things are bound to happen from time to time. Although this may be true, saying so indicates that the company policy may be more inclined to shrugs than vigorous action.
Avoid a grudging attitude; if you are going to apologize, do so cheerfully and wholeheartedly. Do not acknowledge that the company was negligent. If negligence is a factor, consult with your attorney, who will suggest the best approach to take in your letter.
4 Tips on writing a letter of apology:
1. Write as soon as possible after the incident. Be brief, straightforward, and sincere. Admit the fault straight away, apologize, and sign off. Remember to apologize only for the specific issue.
2. Avoid trying to justify or defend the error or behavior, although in some cases, an explanation could accompany your apology. At other times, however, an explanation may weaken or invalidate your apology. This is especially true when you try to explain why you were rude. In certain cases, a brief and sincere apology (maybe with flowers) is better than any explanation.
3. When apologizing for a business problem, the goal is to right the wrong (or the perceived wrong) while turning a dissatisfied customer into one who will continue to deal happily with you. Most customers will respect an honest, generous, and tactful response.
4.Mentally put yourself in the other person's place to determine the type of apology or other actions that would be appropriate if your positions were reversed.
Improving Communication Between Men And Women
Improving Communication Between Men And Women
When young boys swear and use tough language, their behavior is often tolerated as normal for their age. We assume that they are trying to act big. Grown men spice up their vocabulary with occasional profanity and it is mostly acceptable.
On the other hand, female actions are expected to be more restrained than their male counterparts. This directly affects the communication skills of both females and males. At work, we often find ourselves at cross purposes.
But, whether male/female differences stem from genetic makeup, influence from parents, or cultural conditioning by society, the fact is that we are different. We act differently.
We speak differently. Men often assume a direct, forceful manner of communicating, while women typically acquire a quieter, more tentative, questioning approach.
The result of these differing uses of language often leads to misunderstandings. The only way that we can begin to close the communication gap is by accepting and validating these male and female differences.
The first step toward a better communication is to accept our differences. Different doesn't mean wrong. Men tend to define themselves through their achievements. They like to handle things on their own. So at work, if a woman suggests to a man that he could use some help, he may think she believes he is incapable or, worse, incompetent.
Women define who they are mostly through the connectedness of their relationships and through feelings. Reverse the above situation, and the woman would not as likely take offense at the suggestion. Much of our business communication is based upon the interpretation of the male and female listener. Words are only as useful as the way they are heard and understood.
The second step is to learn the rules of communication. We have rules for just about everything we do. When we engage in sports, we play by the rules; when we drive, we follow the rules of safe driving, when we play games, we play according to the rules. Learn the rules that men follow when they communicate. Seek to understand the rules women also unconsciously follow for successful communication.
For communication between men and women to be effective, we must recognize the differences between male and female communication styles.
Men and women, at home or in the workplace, whether speaking or listening, use communication methods designed to meet their primary communication needs.
Men need to feel accepted, to feel admired, to feel appreciated, to feel approved of, and to feel trusted. On the other hand, women need to feel validated, to feel respected, to feel understood, to feel reassured, and to feel cared about.
When young boys swear and use tough language, their behavior is often tolerated as normal for their age. We assume that they are trying to act big. Grown men spice up their vocabulary with occasional profanity and it is mostly acceptable.
On the other hand, female actions are expected to be more restrained than their male counterparts. This directly affects the communication skills of both females and males. At work, we often find ourselves at cross purposes.
But, whether male/female differences stem from genetic makeup, influence from parents, or cultural conditioning by society, the fact is that we are different. We act differently.
We speak differently. Men often assume a direct, forceful manner of communicating, while women typically acquire a quieter, more tentative, questioning approach.
The result of these differing uses of language often leads to misunderstandings. The only way that we can begin to close the communication gap is by accepting and validating these male and female differences.
The first step toward a better communication is to accept our differences. Different doesn't mean wrong. Men tend to define themselves through their achievements. They like to handle things on their own. So at work, if a woman suggests to a man that he could use some help, he may think she believes he is incapable or, worse, incompetent.
Women define who they are mostly through the connectedness of their relationships and through feelings. Reverse the above situation, and the woman would not as likely take offense at the suggestion. Much of our business communication is based upon the interpretation of the male and female listener. Words are only as useful as the way they are heard and understood.
The second step is to learn the rules of communication. We have rules for just about everything we do. When we engage in sports, we play by the rules; when we drive, we follow the rules of safe driving, when we play games, we play according to the rules. Learn the rules that men follow when they communicate. Seek to understand the rules women also unconsciously follow for successful communication.
For communication between men and women to be effective, we must recognize the differences between male and female communication styles.
Men and women, at home or in the workplace, whether speaking or listening, use communication methods designed to meet their primary communication needs.
Men need to feel accepted, to feel admired, to feel appreciated, to feel approved of, and to feel trusted. On the other hand, women need to feel validated, to feel respected, to feel understood, to feel reassured, and to feel cared about.
Key Points To Successful Public Speaking
In public speaking, you must remember that in verbal communication there are no second chances for the audience to catch your remarks. Keep your talk simple and easy to understand. Effective speeches contain no more than three central points. Four points is an absolute maximum. More will confuse the audience and waste their time - and yours.
Arrange the main points of your talk into a pattern, such as: Time order, Space order, Classification order, Cause and Effect order, and Problem and Solution order. Each of your main points should be supported by interesting and relevant material, such as illustrations, comparisons and contrasts, specific instances, facts and figures, etc.
Develop each main point in such a way that the audience will accept it. If they are predisposed to acceptance, your goal is simply to be vivid, impressive and dynamic. The audience doesn't need to be hit over the head with arguments. They are already impressed. They already agree with you.
If the audience is doubtful, be informative. The doubtful audience is looking for information, not memories and quotations. Give them what they're looking for. If the audience is indifferent, use facts. Be compelling and conciliatory. Appeal to their basic wants and needs. Appeal to their open-mindedness and fair play.
Do not be argumentative. If the audience is indifferent, impel them by motivation. Show why your idea is important. Make the issue vital to the listener's needs. Give specific comparisons and illustrations.
The conclusion of your speech is used as a review. Highlight the key points you want your audience to remember. The listener should leave feeling interested, informed, stimulated, persuaded or convinced after listening to you talk. Your audience should feel rewarded for listening to you. Ask them to act or react to your ideas.
A message without a specific request is a wasted opportunity. Move them to action. Call for a specific decision within a specific time frame. A courteous "thank you" is a poor way to end a speech.
While it is still certain that the status, position and occupation of your listeners influences the slant of your remarks, don't talk down to your audience. Don't talk up either. It won't gain you favor.
Flattery is transparent. No matter who the person is or what she does, it is far better to talk with her. This is especially true when you want to gain influence. Take into consideration the varying backgrounds of your audience. Whether it is one person or 1000, the same basic principles and strategies of the message apply.
Don't memorize your speech. If you do not memorize it perfectly, you will stumble, or worse, forget. Even if it is well memorized, you have to recall each word as it comes. This preoccupation makes your words sound rehearsed, cold and lifeless instead of spontaneous, warm and earnest.
Rehearse your speech. You will give the speech standing up. Therefore, rehearse standing up. Rehearse your posture. Rehearse your actions. If possible rehearse in a room the same size as the room you will speak in.
After you have given several speeches, you will learn how many rehearsals you need for a successful speech.
Successful speaking is a skill just like walking or riding a bicycle. It takes time. training and practice.
Arrange the main points of your talk into a pattern, such as: Time order, Space order, Classification order, Cause and Effect order, and Problem and Solution order. Each of your main points should be supported by interesting and relevant material, such as illustrations, comparisons and contrasts, specific instances, facts and figures, etc.
Develop each main point in such a way that the audience will accept it. If they are predisposed to acceptance, your goal is simply to be vivid, impressive and dynamic. The audience doesn't need to be hit over the head with arguments. They are already impressed. They already agree with you.
If the audience is doubtful, be informative. The doubtful audience is looking for information, not memories and quotations. Give them what they're looking for. If the audience is indifferent, use facts. Be compelling and conciliatory. Appeal to their basic wants and needs. Appeal to their open-mindedness and fair play.
Do not be argumentative. If the audience is indifferent, impel them by motivation. Show why your idea is important. Make the issue vital to the listener's needs. Give specific comparisons and illustrations.
The conclusion of your speech is used as a review. Highlight the key points you want your audience to remember. The listener should leave feeling interested, informed, stimulated, persuaded or convinced after listening to you talk. Your audience should feel rewarded for listening to you. Ask them to act or react to your ideas.
A message without a specific request is a wasted opportunity. Move them to action. Call for a specific decision within a specific time frame. A courteous "thank you" is a poor way to end a speech.
While it is still certain that the status, position and occupation of your listeners influences the slant of your remarks, don't talk down to your audience. Don't talk up either. It won't gain you favor.
Flattery is transparent. No matter who the person is or what she does, it is far better to talk with her. This is especially true when you want to gain influence. Take into consideration the varying backgrounds of your audience. Whether it is one person or 1000, the same basic principles and strategies of the message apply.
Don't memorize your speech. If you do not memorize it perfectly, you will stumble, or worse, forget. Even if it is well memorized, you have to recall each word as it comes. This preoccupation makes your words sound rehearsed, cold and lifeless instead of spontaneous, warm and earnest.
Rehearse your speech. You will give the speech standing up. Therefore, rehearse standing up. Rehearse your posture. Rehearse your actions. If possible rehearse in a room the same size as the room you will speak in.
After you have given several speeches, you will learn how many rehearsals you need for a successful speech.
Successful speaking is a skill just like walking or riding a bicycle. It takes time. training and practice.
Why Women Make More Eye Contact With Men When Communicating
Research has shown that women make more eye contact than men do. Why should this be so? Below are just a few of the possible reasons why:
1. Connection: Women are other-oriented. They seem more interested in affiliation, bonding, acceptance, and social maintenance. Consequently, they look more.
2. Intimacy: Intimacy is important for women, and making eye contact is one way a woman tries to get close. Think of a couple out for their anniversary dinner, gazing into each other's eyes. In conversation with people they like, women tend to increase their looking while talking.
3. Sincerity/Deception: Women try to take a read on the authenticity of their interlocutor. The mother who admonishes her child, "Look at me when I'm talking to you." She would be seeking out cues of lying such as averted or downcast eyes. Now imagine a wife who believes her husband is cheating on her. When she asks him why he came home so late at night, he looks away. She surmises from his eye behavior that her suspicions are true.
4. Continual Feedback: Women self-monitor. They look to the other person's expression for validation: Is my message okay? Does he understand? Does she approve? They make eye contact to observe if the other person likes what they are saying: "He just grimaced. I'd better change my message." This kind of scrutiny gives them a chance to self-assess and edit their message.
5. Information Gathering: Since, women are often excluded from informative interactions with men, and men tend to use the stone face to mask their feelings, women must be more attentive during interactions in order to glean as much as they can. They are often "checking in" with men for the appropriateness of their behavior. In one study, men and women were asked to conceal their feelings. Interestingly, given these instructions, women looked more at their conversational partner, but men looked less. The women were trying to detect from the men's reactions whether their emotions had leaked out. Perhaps women have more reason to be "on guard" when concealing or denying their true emotions.
6. Monitoring Group Interactions: If ever there are group meetings, as the speaker is talking, you can observe the women at the table glancing around the room, checking others' facial expressions, and using eye contact and gaze behavior to collect information and gain a read on the group. This behavior is not as typical with men in a group-meeting setting.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
LESSON 2 THE STUDY OF COMMUNICATION
LESSON 2 THE STUDY OF COMMUNICATION
Communication as Human Activity
INFORMAL : This is the type of communication usually used with family and friends, contains shortened version of words, contains slang
Training in informal communication need not take place in class, we learn from imitation, trial and error.
Informal communication would be like having an online chatting or just having a conversation with a friend.
FORMAL : This is the type of communication is used in professional setting with proper conversation, no slang, manners are often used
Training in Formal communication takes place in school or structured classes. Instead of learning through imitation, learning takes place through examination of the nature of communication, interpersonal, small groups, and public speaking.
Formal Communication would be writing a business or other letter within the guidelines of that genre. Such as a cover letter for a resume', or a thank you letter or note for a present received.
It depends on what you are talking about. Formal in English is like hello and informal is hey. You would say hello if you were meeting someone important and hey if you were meeting a friend or family. In different languages it is different. Another example, yes and yeah
Communication is an integral part of life.
Communication begets more communication. When we receive story, we respond to it and then recount the tale to someone else.
We may think about the story to decide its application to our situation.
Also when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell our own story.
The study of communication is an integral part of life because people are able to read, understand and comment an idea is an example of our ability to learn language, to identify symbols and to respond to others.
The Canterbury effect refers to the situation whereby when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell a story of our own.
Communication as Human Activity:
Two reasons which distinguish human communication from animal communication are
a. We possess not only the ability to send and receive messages
b. We possess the ability to create, analyze and change our own patterns of communication.
This is because Human beings can think and talk about the past, present and the future. We can think and talk about what we see and unseen and we can think and talk from our imagination.
Importance of Communication Study
1. To create and sustain all our endeavors e.g arts, play, aggressions, relationships
2. Communication demands our attention
3. It is the study of human activity
4. It provides us with insight and skills (ability to solve problems)
5. Communication helps us to develop transferable knowledge
6. Communication helps us to develop critical thinking skills, language skills and people skills
Communication as Human Activity
INFORMAL : This is the type of communication usually used with family and friends, contains shortened version of words, contains slang
Training in informal communication need not take place in class, we learn from imitation, trial and error.
Informal communication would be like having an online chatting or just having a conversation with a friend.
FORMAL : This is the type of communication is used in professional setting with proper conversation, no slang, manners are often used
Training in Formal communication takes place in school or structured classes. Instead of learning through imitation, learning takes place through examination of the nature of communication, interpersonal, small groups, and public speaking.
Formal Communication would be writing a business or other letter within the guidelines of that genre. Such as a cover letter for a resume', or a thank you letter or note for a present received.
It depends on what you are talking about. Formal in English is like hello and informal is hey. You would say hello if you were meeting someone important and hey if you were meeting a friend or family. In different languages it is different. Another example, yes and yeah
Communication is an integral part of life.
Communication begets more communication. When we receive story, we respond to it and then recount the tale to someone else.
We may think about the story to decide its application to our situation.
Also when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell our own story.
The study of communication is an integral part of life because people are able to read, understand and comment an idea is an example of our ability to learn language, to identify symbols and to respond to others.
The Canterbury effect refers to the situation whereby when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell a story of our own.
Communication as Human Activity:
Two reasons which distinguish human communication from animal communication are
a. We possess not only the ability to send and receive messages
b. We possess the ability to create, analyze and change our own patterns of communication.
This is because Human beings can think and talk about the past, present and the future. We can think and talk about what we see and unseen and we can think and talk from our imagination.
Importance of Communication Study
1. To create and sustain all our endeavors e.g arts, play, aggressions, relationships
2. Communication demands our attention
3. It is the study of human activity
4. It provides us with insight and skills (ability to solve problems)
5. Communication helps us to develop transferable knowledge
6. Communication helps us to develop critical thinking skills, language skills and people skills
LESSON 2 THE STUDY OF COMMUNICATION
LESSON 2 THE STUDY OF COMMUNICATION
Communication as Human Activity
INFORMAL : This is the type of communication usually used with family and friends, contains shortened version of words, contains slang
Training in informal communication need not take place in class, we learn from imitation, trial and error.
Informal communication would be like having an online chatting or just having a conversation with a friend.
FORMAL : This is the type of communication is used in professional setting with proper conversation, no slang, manners are often used
Training in Formal communication takes place in school or structured classes. Instead of learning through imitation, learning takes place through examination of the nature of communication, interpersonal, small groups, and public speaking.
Formal Communication would be writing a business or other letter within the guidelines of that genre. Such as a cover letter for a resume', or a thank you letter or note for a present received.
It depends on what you are talking about. Formal in English is like hello and informal is hey. You would say hello if you were meeting someone important and hey if you were meeting a friend or family. In different languages it is different. Another example, yes and yeah
Communication is an integral part of life.
Communication begets more communication. When we receive story, we respond to it and then recount the tale to someone else.
We may think about the story to decide its application to our situation.
Also when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell our own story.
The study of communication is an integral part of life because people are able to read, understand and comment an idea is an example of our ability to learn language, to identify symbols and to respond to others.
The Canterbury effect refers to the situation whereby when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell a story of our own.
Communication as Human Activity:
Two reasons which distinguish human communication from animal communication are
a. We possess not only the ability to send and receive messages
b. We possess the ability to create, analyze and change our own patterns of communication.
This is because Human beings can think and talk about the past, present and the future. We can think and talk about what we see and unseen and we can think and talk from our imagination.
Importance of Communication Study
1. To create and sustain all our endeavors e.g arts, play, aggressions, relationships
2. Communication demands our attention
3. It is the study of human activity
4. It provides us with insight and skills (ability to solve problems)
5. Communication helps us to develop transferable knowledge
6. Communication helps us to develop critical thinking skills, language skills and people skills
Communication as Human Activity
INFORMAL : This is the type of communication usually used with family and friends, contains shortened version of words, contains slang
Training in informal communication need not take place in class, we learn from imitation, trial and error.
Informal communication would be like having an online chatting or just having a conversation with a friend.
FORMAL : This is the type of communication is used in professional setting with proper conversation, no slang, manners are often used
Training in Formal communication takes place in school or structured classes. Instead of learning through imitation, learning takes place through examination of the nature of communication, interpersonal, small groups, and public speaking.
Formal Communication would be writing a business or other letter within the guidelines of that genre. Such as a cover letter for a resume', or a thank you letter or note for a present received.
It depends on what you are talking about. Formal in English is like hello and informal is hey. You would say hello if you were meeting someone important and hey if you were meeting a friend or family. In different languages it is different. Another example, yes and yeah
Communication is an integral part of life.
Communication begets more communication. When we receive story, we respond to it and then recount the tale to someone else.
We may think about the story to decide its application to our situation.
Also when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell our own story.
The study of communication is an integral part of life because people are able to read, understand and comment an idea is an example of our ability to learn language, to identify symbols and to respond to others.
The Canterbury effect refers to the situation whereby when we hear one story, we may feel motivated to tell a story of our own.
Communication as Human Activity:
Two reasons which distinguish human communication from animal communication are
a. We possess not only the ability to send and receive messages
b. We possess the ability to create, analyze and change our own patterns of communication.
This is because Human beings can think and talk about the past, present and the future. We can think and talk about what we see and unseen and we can think and talk from our imagination.
Importance of Communication Study
1. To create and sustain all our endeavors e.g arts, play, aggressions, relationships
2. Communication demands our attention
3. It is the study of human activity
4. It provides us with insight and skills (ability to solve problems)
5. Communication helps us to develop transferable knowledge
6. Communication helps us to develop critical thinking skills, language skills and people skills
INTRODUCTION TO INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION.
INTRODUCTION TO INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION.
LESSON 1
INTRODUCTION TO INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION.
What is intercultural communication?
Intercultural communication refers to an academic field of study and research about how people from different countries and cultures behave, communicate and perceive the world around them.
Intercultural communication also includes other fields such as anthropology, cultural studies, psychology and communication. Justify Full
Intercultural communication can also be defined as the interpersonal interaction between members of different groups, which differ from each other in respect of the knowledge shared by their members and in respect of their linguistic forms of symbolic behaviour.
The theories developed by the researchers and academics can and have been applied to many fields such as business, management, marketing, advertising and website design.
As business becomes more and more international, many companies need to know how best to structure their companies manage staff and communicate with customers. Intercultural communication gives them an insight into the areas they need to address or understand.
Intercultural communication theories are now also used within the education, health care and other public services due to growing multicultural populations.
WHY DO WE COMMUNICATE? WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DON'T COMMUNICATE?
Research has shown that when people are isolated and made to grow without contact with others, they will not develop to their fullest potentials. People who are isolated have capabilities less than those who are raised within the confines of civilization.
People who don’t communicate or interact with others will not be wise, rather they become stunted by the experience rather than enhanced by it.
People have always needed to communicate with each other for many reasons:
to spread news
to warn of dangers
to pass on information
to ask for help
In order to communicate effectively, humans developed languages, signs and writing.
LESSON 1
INTRODUCTION TO INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION.
What is intercultural communication?
Intercultural communication refers to an academic field of study and research about how people from different countries and cultures behave, communicate and perceive the world around them.
Intercultural communication also includes other fields such as anthropology, cultural studies, psychology and communication. Justify Full
Intercultural communication can also be defined as the interpersonal interaction between members of different groups, which differ from each other in respect of the knowledge shared by their members and in respect of their linguistic forms of symbolic behaviour.
The theories developed by the researchers and academics can and have been applied to many fields such as business, management, marketing, advertising and website design.
As business becomes more and more international, many companies need to know how best to structure their companies manage staff and communicate with customers. Intercultural communication gives them an insight into the areas they need to address or understand.
Intercultural communication theories are now also used within the education, health care and other public services due to growing multicultural populations.
WHY DO WE COMMUNICATE? WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DON'T COMMUNICATE?
Research has shown that when people are isolated and made to grow without contact with others, they will not develop to their fullest potentials. People who are isolated have capabilities less than those who are raised within the confines of civilization.
People who don’t communicate or interact with others will not be wise, rather they become stunted by the experience rather than enhanced by it.
People have always needed to communicate with each other for many reasons:
to spread news
to warn of dangers
to pass on information
to ask for help
In order to communicate effectively, humans developed languages, signs and writing.
LESSON 3: The Field of Communication
LESSON 3: The Field of Communication
I. Understanding, Defining and Meaning of Communication:
Many communication experts have attempted to define Communication.
Communication is the process of sending and receiving ideas by means of verbal symbols.
In this sense communication is a process through which human beings interact.
Communication can also be defined as the entire process through which the sender and receiver exchange message in form of information, experience, ideas, facts, beliefs, and attitudes.
In other words, communication is the process of sending, receiving, and interpreting messages through which we relate to each other and to our larger world as well.
ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
From the definition of Communication, we can see clearly that communication occurs when somebody says something to someone for a purpose.
There are several important elements of communication.
1. Sender (Source): this is the person from which the communication starts.
2. Message: This is the information or something the sender intends to send.
3. Receiver: This is the person who receives the information( message)
4. Stimulus: Something which propels communication. It is closely associated to the Source.
5. Medium: this refers to the form by which the source transfer his message to the receiver.
There are three media available to the source are oral, written and non verbal media.
Oral: when the source decides to speak out his mind
Written: when the source decides to put it in black and white
Non Verbal: the source decides to use gestures or body language.
6. The channel is another important element of communication. Channel is different from Medium. The medium is the form that the source used to put the message across while Channel is the actual conveyor of the message. For example, channel can be face to face, radio, television, telephone etc for oral communication, Letter, memorandum, report, newspaper, magazine etc for written communication while drawing, carvings, painting, sculpture etc for non Verbal Communication.
7. Feedback: This is the receiver's response to the sender's message. Without feedback, communication is incomplete. Feedback determines the success or failure of the communication between the sender and receiver.
8. Noise: This is also another element of communication because it can affect the success of communication. Noise refers to all distractions, which may obstruct any stage of the communication process.
There are three types of noise:
Physical noise: any natural of event which can be seen, heard or touched but has nothing to do with thought or mind. E.g radio, television sound or any impairment of hearing, vision or speech.
Psychological noise: this is traceable to the expression of mind and may include emotional outburst, poor mental attitude or fatigue
Linguistic noise: This concerns the inability to use or understand the language of communication effectively.
e.g Semantic noise: wrong choice of words, misinterpretation of words and unfamiliarity of words.
Grammatical noise: This may be as a result of syntax error or wrong use of grammar.
Phonological noise: This may occur as a result of poor pronunciation, poor intonation or poor stress.
9. Signal: This is the last element of communication. this refers to symbols and codes employed by those involved in communication. If the source understands the language of communication well, he will be able to encode the message perfectly. A thorough understanding of the language will also enable the receiver to decode the message accurately
I. Understanding, Defining and Meaning of Communication:
Many communication experts have attempted to define Communication.
Communication is the process of sending and receiving ideas by means of verbal symbols.
In this sense communication is a process through which human beings interact.
Communication can also be defined as the entire process through which the sender and receiver exchange message in form of information, experience, ideas, facts, beliefs, and attitudes.
In other words, communication is the process of sending, receiving, and interpreting messages through which we relate to each other and to our larger world as well.
ELEMENTS OF COMMUNICATION
From the definition of Communication, we can see clearly that communication occurs when somebody says something to someone for a purpose.
There are several important elements of communication.
1. Sender (Source): this is the person from which the communication starts.
2. Message: This is the information or something the sender intends to send.
3. Receiver: This is the person who receives the information( message)
4. Stimulus: Something which propels communication. It is closely associated to the Source.
5. Medium: this refers to the form by which the source transfer his message to the receiver.
There are three media available to the source are oral, written and non verbal media.
Oral: when the source decides to speak out his mind
Written: when the source decides to put it in black and white
Non Verbal: the source decides to use gestures or body language.
6. The channel is another important element of communication. Channel is different from Medium. The medium is the form that the source used to put the message across while Channel is the actual conveyor of the message. For example, channel can be face to face, radio, television, telephone etc for oral communication, Letter, memorandum, report, newspaper, magazine etc for written communication while drawing, carvings, painting, sculpture etc for non Verbal Communication.
7. Feedback: This is the receiver's response to the sender's message. Without feedback, communication is incomplete. Feedback determines the success or failure of the communication between the sender and receiver.
8. Noise: This is also another element of communication because it can affect the success of communication. Noise refers to all distractions, which may obstruct any stage of the communication process.
There are three types of noise:
Physical noise: any natural of event which can be seen, heard or touched but has nothing to do with thought or mind. E.g radio, television sound or any impairment of hearing, vision or speech.
Psychological noise: this is traceable to the expression of mind and may include emotional outburst, poor mental attitude or fatigue
Linguistic noise: This concerns the inability to use or understand the language of communication effectively.
e.g Semantic noise: wrong choice of words, misinterpretation of words and unfamiliarity of words.
Grammatical noise: This may be as a result of syntax error or wrong use of grammar.
Phonological noise: This may occur as a result of poor pronunciation, poor intonation or poor stress.
9. Signal: This is the last element of communication. this refers to symbols and codes employed by those involved in communication. If the source understands the language of communication well, he will be able to encode the message perfectly. A thorough understanding of the language will also enable the receiver to decode the message accurately
The definition of communication
The definition of communication
1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated. 2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. 3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted. 4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc. 5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage, between places. 6. communications, a. means of sending messages, orders, etc., including telephone, telegraph, radio, and television. b. routes and transportation for moving troops and supplies from a base to an area of operations. 7. Biology. a. activity by one organism that changes or has the potential to change the behavior of other organisms. b. transfer of information from one cell or molecule to another, as by chemical or electrical signals.
1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated. 2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. 3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted. 4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc. 5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage, between places. 6. communications, a. means of sending messages, orders, etc., including telephone, telegraph, radio, and television. b. routes and transportation for moving troops and supplies from a base to an area of operations. 7. Biology. a. activity by one organism that changes or has the potential to change the behavior of other organisms. b. transfer of information from one cell or molecule to another, as by chemical or electrical signals.
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